No, I’m
not seeking duck lips or melon boobs. If you’re currently single, don’t you
find it interesting that as you age you limit entrance into your life to people
who enhance it? The more self-sufficient you become, the less tolerant you
become. I’m not speaking exclusively about sex. I doubt I’ll live to see
masturbatory equipment make the other gender obsolete. It’s more about spending
significant time with another person.
When we
were children, we had little choice. We can’t select our siblings, neighbors,
and classmates so we cope. Once we leave school, we begin to have options but
the peer and familial pressures shove us down the aisle.
We go
through the big wedding, nesting, reproducing, and straying. Once we hit our
forties we begin to wonder what's left. Some of us take the brave
and expensive route of reentering the mating pool with what some people will
call damage and baggage. Pity. My experience taught me well. I’m not damaged. I’m
just fine.
Then, a
new strategy arises: We’re no longer out to find soul mates; we’re casually
seeking people who make us happier. We’ve learned that more than one person is
qualified for the position, so we don’t race back down the aisle again. We
enjoy the rides and step off once things get complicated. Expiration is
approaching so there’s no time to force together pieces that don’t fit.
I’m sure
some people (married ones) see this as a dysfunction. It’s promiscuity,
perhaps. Still, I don’t desire casual sex; I desire pleasurable sex with
minimal aftertaste. I’m confident that one woman at a time can deliver those
goods, but I won’t find her without hunting.
For
example, say you left your husband today. (If it is easier, assume he left
you.) You’re single and free. Cast away all of the financial nonsense and
parental guilt that will keep you tied to an unhealthy relationship. You’re
single, financially secure, the nest is empty, and your hormones are still
flowing. What will you do?
I’ll
tell you.
At
first, you’ll timidly stick a toe in the mating pool. It’s chilly. You’ll
consider going back to what you know (sucks). You’ll stick another toe in. It’s
the post-marital Hokey-Pokey, if you will. You’ll have good sex with bad men
and bad sex with good men. You’ll be frustrated and consider going back again.
You won’t. You’ll gain confidence that you can find good sex with a good man.
You finally find it and hang on. Then it sours.
Suddenly,
you’re approaching fifty and you realize you don’t need your sentences
finished for you. You’ve arranged your nest the way you like it and it doesn’t
need more birds. You’ve found your happiness and you’re not about
to trade it for penetration. Mr. Next is going to have to enhance your life
significantly or he’ll remain with his competition on the fringes.
When you’ve
reached this point—whether pets are involved or not—you’ve become the most
attractive person you’ll ever be. Isn’t that ironic?
Loved this!
ReplyDeleteIt makes sense.
ReplyDeleteIt is ironic. Not sure if I'm the most attractive I've been or will be but certainly the happiest. I must be as happy or happier with someone than I am single or it's not worth my time. I guess it takes a while to learn to love yourself more than the bullshit.
ReplyDeleteSo true!
ReplyDeleteI think I might be too young for this one.
ReplyDeleteha! I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I'm there. Except the 40s and 50s part. Loved this one. Truer words cannot be spoken.
ReplyDelete