I’m sorry. I'd rather not have anything F’d out of me, aside from
the obvious. Is that odd? Why do people use such terms?
“I’m going to F his brains out.”
“I’ll F the S out of her.”
It sounds somewhat gross to me. Naturally, I’m taking things
too literally as I often do. My mind ventures into a scene where she’s bouncing
away on top of me as the mattress squeals and I try to hold in my Orange
Chicken. Finally, she has overwhelmed me, I lose control, and crap the sheets
while a tiny bit of brain shoots from my ear onto the nightstand.
“There. I told you. I just F’d the S out of you and banged your brains out.”
“You’re proud of this?”
“Yes.”
“Look, there are so many other S-words I wouldn’t mind F’d
from me. There’s sperm, semen, sweat, snot, and even spit. Of all the S-words,
why that one?”
“It’s just a figure of speech. You don’t want me to say I’ll
F the sperm out of you, do you?”
“Not if you’re ovulating.”
“You know what I mean.”
“It all sounds odd and unfair. Conversely, I can’t F
anything out of you, can I?”
“I guess not. Well, a baby, but that’s a delayed reaction.”
“Horrors.”
“I guess some women ejaculate, so it is possible.”
“Great. Next time I’ll warm you up by saying I’m going to F
the milky white pussy snot out of you.”
“Lovely.”
Quiet lovemaking is what I long for: no words—just moans,
grunts, and sighs. I’ll give a pass to directions. We could all use those. Future
bedmates, take all the liberties you want with “To the left, right, harder, softer,
faster, slower, and kindly get the F off my hair.” Please don’t F anything out
of me. Please don’t refer to me as Papi or Daddy and don’t refer to yourself as
a bad girl, slut, ’ho, or a dirty anything. Keep it clean!
bahaha I love the dirty talk! Keep it coming!
ReplyDeleteLove it … keep posting !
ReplyDelete'Delayed reaction'...Love it.
ReplyDelete"...milky white pussy snot..." I'm stealing it.
ReplyDeleteThis was hilarious! But, yes...I like the moans and grunts much better...especially when its him doing the moaning and grunting.
ReplyDelete