Just F*ck Me! - What Women Want Men to Know About Taking Control in the Bedroom (A Guide for Couples) by Eve Kingsley. I must admit I feel slightly bruised and dirty. Ah, I kid. It is an interesting book with many concepts foreign to a nice guy like me.
Eve makes sure the goofy apemen who read her book are clear about the
distinction between being aggressive in a stimulating way and causing injury.
To a certain point, that’s subjective. The main lesson is there must be clear
lines of communication and frequent feedback. Obviously, there’s a big
difference between a rape fantasy and rape.
Nobody said this would be easy.
1. Spanking – In the odd situation where I spank (more
like tap) a lover, I find myself reflexively raising my guard in case she
wheels around and clocks me in the choppers. Eve recommends the spank be
sandwiched by caressing. All right, but that never prevents my girlish squeal
when I receive a shot (not the tasty kind served with a lime).
2. Pinning Her Arms Down – Men, when you’re on top, grab
both her wrists and pin them behind her head. Make sure your legs are inside
hers or you may take a knee to the jobbers. I also like to add in neck
nibbling, unless she’s wearing a wool scarf; it’s itchy.
3. Dirty Talk – I work with too many words to enjoy this
without giggling or correcting her grammar. I don’t like being called names,
other than “The Luscious Italian Tripod.” For some odd reason, there are women
who don’t mind (or rather enjoy) being called one of more the following during
b. Whore (or ’Ho in certain parts)
4. Kamimaze Sex – OK, I made this name up. Chicks get
tingly when they see that stairwell quick-bang in the movie Unfaithful.
This is one time when the man isn’t penalized for unloading in under a minute.
When she least expects it and still wants it (good luck figuring that one out),
shove her up against the wall/staircase, yank down her bottoms, and grind her
into the drywall/carpet. You’ll probably cause some brush burns, so have
Neosporin handy. NOTE: Please don’t do this at the office, daycare center, or
in my kitchen.
5. Role Playing – Grown people do this? Really? Not just
on Halloween? Reality has a way of obscuring fantasy and ruining the fun for
me. Hey, whatever gets your blood pooling. You can play master/servant,
maid/butler, coach/player (except in central Pennsylvania),
quarterback/cheerleader, priest/confessor, officer/criminal, prom king/prom
queen, or bar slut/bar player. Ooh, how about this one: author/reader? Saucy!
Could your love life use some freshening? Bring home lotions, toys, and liquor;
mix in a little kink; and postpone your mate’s consideration of trading your
boring ass in for a pug, hobby, or more open-minded lover.