DILLIGAS - Do I look like I give a shadoobie?

It's time to stop giving a shit and taking shit from others. If you care too much about something you have little control over, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. I say, stop caring. Does this bother you? It shouldn't because the new you doesn't give a shit, remember? Good!

You must not give a shit about the following:

• The weather
• The stock or housing market
• Television shows
• Gas prices
• Sports teams, athletes, race car drivers, tennis players, golfers, jockeys, and the like
• Politics and politicians
• Celebrities

You can be entertained by them. Heck, you can root for or against them. Just make sure it's minimal shit you give.

One of the most important things to not give the slightest shit about is what people think of you, unless they are paying you or sleeping with you. You can't control the critic's taste, so why should it concern you?

"You hurt my feelings."
"No, you decided to let your feelings be hurt."

This includes rejection. The less you care about rejection, the more opportunities you'll have. When you ask for something and you're denied, shrug and move on. If you're paralyzed because you give a shit, you'll hesitate or avoid asking, which will definitely cause disappointment (nasty shit).

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"
"Um, yes, but I have a boyfriend."
"Um, bullshit, but if you do, he's not invited."
"What?"
"You're lying because you don't want to hurt my feelings. You're not attracted to me and, this may come as a shock to you, but I really don't give a shit. If you were attracted to me, you'd say yes and we'd have a lovely dinner and sweaty sex ... eventually. Alas, you're not attracted to me, so I wish you and your make-believe boyfriend all the best. Gotta go."

If somebody starts to give you shit, leave. Don't defend yourself because that will create the conflict the shitter seeks. Say goodbye, about face, and exit. The shitter will probably call you a coward, but you won't care, because you don't give a shit. Keep walking. The shitter might pursue you with text messages, emails, and phone calls. These are some of the easiest things to discard. Do not read them; do not respond to them; delete them.

The interesting thing is by not giving a shit, you'll become a more interesting person. In fact, I, for one, would love to meet you. Sure, some drama queens will call you aloof, but you won't give a shit. People will wonder how you achieved such enlightenment. They may assume a rich aunt left you some fuck-you money or you've been diagnosed with a terminal disease. This means they'll either expect a handout or feel sorry for you. You don't need another mouth to feed and you don't need pity. Let them wonder while you calmly float with me on the lake of tranquility.