What a Nice Guy by Phil Torcivia

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Does what you watch define who you are?

Being unaware of something doesn't make a person superior. Still, people will use that angle to involve themselves in a conversation when they should be listening instead. In Pulp Fiction, this situation is handled brilliantly:

Vincent: I don't watch TV.
Jules: Yeah, but, you are aware that there's an invention called television, and on this invention they show shows, right?

Why can't people admit to doing or watching certain things? We all fart, pick our noses, and watch shows that don't make us smarter. So what? Why deny it? Look at all the money these shows make. Somebody is certainly watching them, and the viewers can't all be dolts.

Here are the top things people deny doing:
  • Watching The Bachelor, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and Project Runway.
  • Watching sitcoms.
  • Watching the news.
  • Watching TV in general. The person who tells me she doesn't own a TV had better have a huge Lego collection or an extraordinary dildo.
  • Driving while drinking, texting, or eating.
  • Burping, farting, yanking, flipping, scratching, sniffing, singing, and talking to pets when nobody is around.
  • Using Facebook and Twitter.
  • Watching funny YouTube videos at work.
  • Playing online games.
  • Using porn, whether video or written form.

People around me quote Seinfeld constantly and refer to the characters. I don't watch the show; never did. Yet, I am aware of it and the premise-less premise. When I confess to never watching the show, I get grilled.

"Who on earth hasn't watched Seinfeld?"
"Me, on Uranus."
"You, of all people, would love the show. You write comedy."
"Can't do it. The dubbed-in laughter makes me crazy. I don't like being told when to laugh."
"What? Still ..."
"I'm aware of the show. Carry on and quote away. I'll not interrupt you and decide for myself whether it's worthy of a reaction."

The next time someone is mid-story, don't slow the flow by pleading ignorance. You'll delay the punchline and annoy the speaker. Open your ears and close your lips around the straw that leads to the substance that makes everyone more interesting.

3 comments:

  1. *raising hand high* I NEVER watched Seinfeld and never will! I don't like Jerry Seinfeld or his style of humor. I also get ribbed for not watching Scrubs, Office and King of Queens. Situation comedies bother me.
    I watch BBC America because I like Top Gear, Dr. Who, Gordon Ramsay, Graham Norton, Being Human and Torchwood.
    And I've also been berated for using Twitter. I must obviously be a computer geek for using it. My best friend was shocked when she found out I blogged. It was "out of character".
    I'm subscribed to at least 20 YouTube channels.
    Most of my family doesn't understand Facebook. So told them I deleted my account. I have another one that is strictly for my real friends who get it.
    I have a Tumblr account, Stumbleupon and Pinterest. You know I'm on Triberr.
    And these people have the audacity to judge? At least I'm up on all this social media shit. Just because I don't watch "House" doesn't mean I'm clueless.

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  2. Ha! Hilarious! So glad Oscar Sparrow sent me here! You're a hoot! Pleased to meetcha!

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  3. I don't watch reality TV shows. I tried, many years back when they first started appearing, but really? Ugh.

    I do, however, talk to my dogs. All the time, whether someone's around or not. I don't watch TV shows on TV. Our TV is for movies and gaming. I use Netflix to watch shows like Sanctuary, True Blood, Primeval, Torchwood, etc. No commercials! I hate commercials.

    Seinfield, I did watch some, back when we used the TV to watch TV.

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